10
Some people are meant to serve others. After three hours of watching her, I knew Sister Maggie was one of these. The woman was the Energizer Bunny with sacred vows, plus she didn’t have an uncharitable bone in her body. No matter how dirty or nasty or grubby they looked, she chatted with the soup kitchen visitors like they were old friends. She helped the ones who couldn’t carry their own food trays, and got coffee for them if they’d already sat down and forgotten to get their own. When we ran out of bread and there was still a line for lunch, she headed over to the local corner store for more and came back with a whole box. She wasn’t shy about announcing that she’d used her powers of persuasion (and who knows what heavenly connections) to get it donated.
I, on the other hand, was not made of the same stuff. Believe me, I’m not saying this because I felt inadequate, or because I had second thoughts or any regrets about how I’d spent my life up until that very day without ever setting foot in a soup kitchen. I point it out only because it is relevant to the understanding of my suffering. See, helping people, Sister Maggie was in her glory.
Me?
Not so much.
By the time the last of the lunch eaters disappeared into the cold and gloomy afternoon and the other volunteers sat down to finish what was left of the stew (do I need to point out that I declined the invitation to join them?), my apron was dotted with gravy and so were the cuffs of my black turtleneck. It should come as no surprise that I wasn’t used to swabbing floors; thanks to the Stella’s-spilled-coffee cleanup effort, my jeans were soggy. I had a first-degree burn on my right hand from trying (and failing) to change the Sterno under a chafing dish of potatoes, and I was so tired of giving unto others and so grossed out by much of what I’d seen, I couldn’t wait to get out of there and back to my hotel where I could take a nice hot shower, in which I planned to use up all of the Bliss lemon and sage bath gel I’d brought to Chicago with me. On my way back to the hotel, maybe I’d stop at Bloomingdale’s for an extra bottle. Just in case.
Cleanliness aside, though, I hadn’t forgotten why I was there.
That would explain why even after the homeless had disappeared and the kitchen was cleaned up, the tables were set for the next day’s lunch and the last of the volunteers was gone, I was out in the hallway waiting for Sister Maggie.
She locked the door to the cafeteria and pocketed the key. “I hate having to do this,” she said. “I wish they could all just stay here and stay warm. Rules and regulations, you know. And we’re not approved for live-ins. I’ve tried to skirt the authorities. One time, I forgot to lock the door, Lord forgive me.” She made the sign of the cross. “I learned my lesson. As soon as word went out that we weren’t locked up tight, the locals came in and stripped our copper pipes.” She led the way to the stairs that would take us up and back out to the street. “You coming back? We sure could use the help.”
It didn’t seem like the right place to say no way in hell, so I skirted the issue. “You said we’d talk after lunch. You know, about Oscar and Becka.”
We were at the bottom of the stairway. On the landing above us, a bare lightbulb illuminated the nooks and crannies of the church entrance. There was nothing up there but a door and a pamphlet rack that contained everything from transit maps to information on free HIV testing. There was nothing down on the level where we stood, either, except the long, dark hallway that led back to the kitchen and a doorway over on our right with a sign above it that showed it was the way to the rest-rooms.
We were the only ones left in the building. Still, Sister Maggie looked around before she spoke. “Oscar, Becka, and the Gerard Clinic?”
Dealing with the dead has a way of heightening a person’s awareness when it comes to things like fear. Oh yeah, I could tell Sister Maggie was scared, all right. Since she didn’t seem the type, I was anxious to find out why. I searched for something neutral to say.
“You don’t approve of the clinic.”
She slipped into the black coat she’d carried out of the kitchen. “The clinic serves an important mission in our neighborhood. There are plenty of people who wouldn’t get the mental health care they need or the counseling or their medication without Doctor Gerard.”
“But you’re not a fan.”
“Did I say that?” With a look, Sister Maggie dared me to contradict her. I had a funny feeling she was also trying to do a Vulcan mind-meld move on me so she’d know what I was thinking. For all I knew, she could do that, too.
“Why do you care so much?” she asked. “I practically had to twist your arm to get you to stay to help. That tells me you don’t have a political agenda. You’re not one of those bleeding-heart liberal do-gooders who come by once in a while. You know, just so they can brag to their friends in the burbs about their good deeds.
“You don’t have a personal stake, either. Don’t ask me how I know, I just do. After all the years I’ve been doing this, I can tell just from looking. It happens once in a while. Families come searching for relatives they know are out on the streets. They hardly ever find them.” Superwoman or not, this bothered her. I could tell because she looked away. But if years of long practice had taught her nothing else, it was how to grin and bear it. Even in the face of grinding poverty. The next second, she had her act together and was all business again.
“You’re asking about Oscar and Becka, and you were talking to Stella. No way you’re related to any of them. Your world and theirs, they don’t overlap. They never have. So it’s not social conscience and it’s not guilt and it’s not to fulfill some promise you made to a dying relative about how you’d find so-and-so and put things right. Still . . .” She spent a few moments thinking. “You care about this enough to trade your time for my information. And you would rather be shopping or at a spa than here in the hood. You would have rather spent your afternoon anywhere else. Maybe even at that cemetery conference?” She glanced briefly at my giveaway portfolio. “Why are you so anxious to find these people?”
Sure, we were in the basement, but it still qualified as being in church. In a rare moment, I opted for the truth. “I hear that both Oscar and Becka haven’t been seen in a while, and I’d like to find out if that’s fact or rumor. It would be easier for me to check if I could get some actual information. Like last names.”
“You’re a cop.”
“Do we need the cops?”
She didn’t answer, and I knew why. She was waiting for me to fess up.
I wasn’t a Catholic. I didn’t have to be to know that nuns had the whole tell-the-truth-or-else mojo going for them. I gave up with a sigh. “I’m not a cop,” I said. “I’m a sort of . . . well, sort of a private investigator.”
“And you want to know if it’s true, about the folks who are accepted into that special study Doctor Gerard is conducting.”
This time when I sighed, it was with relief. Finally, I had corroboration. From somebody who was a somebody whose body wasn’t six feet under. “It’s true then? They really are missing?”
Sister Maggie bought some time, slowly buttoning her coat. “I’ve never found any proof.”
“You’ve looked.”
“I’ve heard stories.”
I really didn’t need to ask. I’d seen the way she operated, and I couldn’t imagine her not going to the mat if she thought something wasn’t on the up-and-up. I asked anyway. “You’ve gone to the authorities with these stories?”
She tucked her hands in her pockets. “I tried. Once. About eighteen months ago. But without any proof . . .” Another shrug. This one pretty much told me all I needed to know. “They told me to come back if I ever had any more information, and unfortunately, I haven’t been able to dig up a thing. If there’s anything happening at that clinic, they’ve been able to keep it pretty quiet.”
“Until now.”
This seemed like a no-brainer to me, but I didn’t like the way Sister Maggie looked in response. Like she’d just bitten into a lemon.
“What?” I shifted my portfolio from one hand to the other. “I’m only stating facts. Nobody’s looked into the matter. Not seriously, anyway. I mean, not that I don’t think you were serious about it, but hey, you’ve got plenty of other things to worry about. Now, I’m on the case.”
There was that look again. The one that practically threatened eternal damnation if I wasn’t truthful. “Are you that good?”
There was no use being modest, so I didn’t even try. “I’ve solved a few cases that had the cops stumped.”
I thought she would have been more impressed. I mean, even if she didn’t mean it, she owed me that much for the soggy jeans and the stained sweater and the fact that I was standing in a stone-cold church on a gloomy afternoon when I could have been anywhere else. Even that cemetery conference, where it was sure to be boring, but a heck of a lot warmer.
Sister Maggie’s brows dropped low over her eyes. “You know you’d better be careful, right?”
I would have laughed if she didn’t sound so doggone serious. “Those cases that I solved, some of them were pretty dangerous. Nobody’s gotten to me yet.”
“It’s not you I’m worried about.”
Since she said this just as she started up the steps, I scrambled up after her.
“What do you mean?” I asked when we got to the top.
She stopped, her hand on the door that led outside. “I can see that you can take care of yourself. Even if you don’t know how to change the Sterno in a chafing dish!” Her smile came and went. “The people over at the clinic, though, most of them aren’t so lucky.”
I shouldn’t have felt guilty, but I must have. That would explain why I scrambled to explain myself. “I didn’t do anything to Stella. Anything but—”
“You talked to her. And let me guess, you left the clinic with her, right? That means somebody probably saw you two together.”
“Sure, but—”
Briefly, she put a hand on my sleeve. “I’m not trying to make you feel bad. Please, don’t think I am. I’m just pointing out that if there is something shady going on at the clinic, and if whoever is behind it thinks you’re snooping around, and if that someone saw you talking to Stella—”
“No. No way.” My denial sounded a little too quick, even to me. That didn’t keep me from trying to talk myself out of thinking I might have put Stella in jeopardy.
Too bad it didn’t work. My shoulders slumped. “Shit.”
Sister Maggie laughed. “That’s one way of putting it.” She kept her smile in place, and I would have been encouraged if I didn’t suspect she was just trying to make me feel better. “You can’t change what’s already happened,” she said, and I would have bet anything it was a line she’d used a couple million times before on the people who came through the soup kitchen and got a side dish of counseling with their meals. “And chances are, nobody even paid any attention to you and Stella. You just might want to be a little more careful in the future.”
I nodded my understanding. “You know, I can do something to make sure none of the people over at the clinic ever have to worry again about who they talk to. Or what they say.”
“Because you’re going to keep investigating until you find out what’s really going on.”
We were finally on the same page. I knew this for a fact because, call me narcissistic, but I could see the way Sister Maggie’s eyes shone with admiration. And maybe a little bit of envy, too. Something told me that given half the chance and time away from the responsibilities of feeding the homeless of Chicago, she’d be all over this case herself.
Shopping opportunities aside (not to mention religion and the whole celibacy thing), it looked like me and Sister Maggie, we had a lot more in common than I ever would have imagined.
“I’m going to make sure no one else goes missing,” I told her.
“If they’re missing.” It was her turn to sigh. “It’s not the same world you live in,” she said, and if we’d known each other long enough, I might have pointed out that nobody lived in the same world I lived in.
She took a black wool scarf out of her pocket and wound it on. “The homeless here in Chicago are like the homeless everywhere. They come and they go. Some of them get lucky and find their way to warmer places. Some of them die out on the streets. A precious few turn their lives around, find jobs, get places to live. Just because we don’t see them again doesn’t mean anything sinister has happened to them.”
“Except you think that maybe it has. Otherwise you never would have gone to the cops.”
Thinking, she tipped her head, and honestly, I wasn’t sure what she was going to say next. When she blurted out, “Zmeskis, Oscar’s last name is Zmeskis,” I was so surprised that I fumbled to flip open the portfolio, asked her to spell the name, and wrote it down carefully.
“Becka isn’t a Rebecca, just a Becka. Becka Chance.” She looked over my shoulder to where I was writing. “You might as well add Alan Grankowski, Leon Harris, Lony Billberger, and Athalea Misborough.” She waited while I wrote down these names, too. “I haven’t seen them in a while, and I’ve been told they were seen at the clinic, that they talked about that study.”
My thank-you came out along with a smile of gratitude.
Except I don’t think Sister Maggie wanted any thanks. She didn’t expect any, that’s for sure. She pushed open the door and held it so I could step out into the church parking lot ahead of her. “Just promise me you’ll be careful, OK?”
I was going to say something witty, like “Careful is my middle name” or “Nothing’s going to happen if I’m too careful,” only when I looked back, her expression was so thoughtful, I didn’t have the heart.
“I promise,” I told her. “No more talking to clinic patients where anybody can see us.”
“And you won’t take any foolish chances with your own safety, either, right?”
This, I didn’t want to get into. Not with a nun, anyway. To date, my life had been filled with foolish chances. Some of them had panned out. Others, not so much. It wasn’t fair to burden her with the story of Joel, and I didn’t think telling her about Quinn was exactly appropriate, so I gave her a cocky smile instead. “I’ve dodged a few bullets in my day.”
“I hope that’s just a figure of speech.”
It wasn’t. Behind my back, I crossed the fingers of one hand and told her it was. I guess that made her happy. She closed the door to the church, locked it, and walked away. Last I saw her, she was handing a dollar to a guy hanging around at the corner.
I went in the opposite direction, feeling pretty proud of myself.
Sure it had cost me the price of dry cleaning for a sweater and a pair of jeans (not to mention the burn that would need some aloe lotion, stat), but I knew more than I had when I left the hotel that morning. I had last names to go with first names, and more first names and last names on the list. Armed with that information, I could do some digging. I could also provide Dan with some concrete evidence that he could use to check against the clinic files. Once he did, maybe then he’d believe that I (and my claim to fame as the Dr. Phil of the undead) was on the up-and-up.
I basked in the glow of my success all the way back to the L station. True to my word to Sister Maggie, in addition to being pretty darned satisfied with the way the day had panned out, I was also careful. I took a quick look around every chance I got, and I knew nobody was following me. Or even watching me. As far as I could remember, nobody had since I’d been in Chicago.
Except maybe for the homeless guy with the weird spiky hair who I’d seen at Piece and at the clinic.
And that spooky black shadow.
The thought sent a skitter of cold up my spine, and as I stood waiting to cross the street, then turn a corner to head to the L station, I shivered.
Or maybe that’s because when I did turn that corner, I saw two police cars parked in front of the station. Their flashing lights clashed with the swirling red light on top of the ambulance parked nearby. As I got to the back of the crowd gathered around to watch, the paramedics were just carrying a stretcher down the steps. Whoever was on it, the prognosis wasn’t good; the body was completely covered by a sheet.
“What happened?” I asked a woman standing and watching at my side.
“Can’t say for sure. Just got here myself.”
A man over on our right put in his two cents. “I heard the woman ended up under a train. That’s her there.” He looked over to where the paramedics wheeled the gurney toward the ambulance. “I’ll bet there’s not a whole lot left once that train’s done with you.”
Just thinking about it made my stomach jump. I gulped. “Accident?” I asked. “Or suicide?”
The woman at my side shrugged. “You never know around here.”
There was a young guy standing in front of us, his hands pushed into the pockets of his winter jacket. He turned. “The way I heard it,” he said, “somebody pushed her. Only I ain’t telling nobody that. I was up there and I didn’t see nothing myself and besides, I don’t want to be the next one that gets pushed.”
It was too awful to consider, and I’d just decided not to do it when a curious thing happened. The gurney that carried the body hit a bump, and that bump jarred the victim on the stretcher. Her arm slipped out from under the sheet and swung limply over the side of the stretcher.
Creepy enough.
Creepier still when I realized that the dead woman was wearing a pink parka.
And when something fell out of her hand and hit the pavement.
It was a tube of Trish McEvoy lip gloss.

Night of the Loving Dead
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